ix

No, not nine.

I changed my display name!

No one, except Blessy ever calls me Mally, so 'twas kind of ridiculous to keep it. And it wasn't aesthetically right.

So, I have changed it. To Mallix.

See, I don't really have a nickname back home. Meaning LA. Meaning given by friends. You see, on the first day of every school year, I completely eagerly anticipate roll call, so I can hear my name mangled and then incorrectly correct the teacher. I tell 'em :"Mallika," the first syllable pronounced like a shopping mall. But in reality, the first syllable is pronounced "mull" like "I mulled it over and decided not to pronounce your name as Malleeeka." Ahem.

I don't bother giving that form of my name [Yes, I've now come to regard my true name as having two forms], as it's really hard for non-at-least-semi-Hindi speakers. People tend to overcompensate and it comes out like "Mule-ika." I'm not an ass, though you may be. I get too happy when I think of insults. Kinda ruins the effect.

The worst is when people correct subs for me, with such a disdainful attitude and like they know me so well. Yeah, it's my own fault that they use this Ikea form of my name [Digression: You know why I said Ikea even though it's not really a mall? Well, in sixth grade we had a sub called Mr. Morrisey. The first thing that greeted us when we walked in was 'The More I See, The More I Like' inscribed on the board. Uh. And then he wasted 20 minutes getting us to write 'clever' phrases to preserve our names in the collective consciousness instead of handing us the thing on Imhotep and Zsosor and the step pyramid that we were supposed to read. And I came up with something horrible like 'The Senator gave a speech next to the mall, Ikea.' But he was right. We never did forget his name]. And I don't mind it, actually, because I'm so used to it and it was of my own choosing. So please! Keep calling me that. My problem is I'm usually annoyed with whoever corrects my name and I usually mumble "I can speak for myself!" Kinda pointless. But you can correct it for me if you know I never get annoyed with you. Just not on the first day. Actually, just disregard this whole roll call business. I sound like a Mule-ika.

ANYWAY, back to the point seventy thousand paragraphs ago. There's not much you can do in terms of nicknames with the Fox Hills/Westfield Culver City version. Mally sounds like Molly. Mall sounds like, well, a mall.

So, that's why I'm broadcasting the version-that-my-parents-named-me form so you can see where my various family-given nicknames are derived from. But I'm not going to list them. But Mallix is one of them.

Pronounce it "Mull-iks."

AND the best part is that it ends in -ix. Like Goscinny and Uderzo's Gauls. I'm an Indomitable Gaul. Like Asterix and Getafix and lil Dogmatix. And let's not forget Cacofonix. 'cept only the men had -ixs, but all the women in the comics were insufferable, so I can be sufferable and thus earn the -ix.

Ironically, the Gaulish women all had names ending in -a.

Inspired?

I have found that it's hard to start at the beginning for anything, be it post titles or article ledes. I like that spelling.

And, subsequently, the beginning of blog posts, itself. If you are reading this for the first time, or even if you're not, you should know that I have the tendency to digress and meander. That might not seem like a good thing, but it entertains me when I reread these. I'm also stating this because I shall not write "I digress" each time now, unless 'tis for 'dramatic' effect. Nor shall I try and explain everything. See sidebar, cryptic > obvious.

I would also like to apologize [I am such a fake. A poseur *gasp* even(read other posts to comprehend the full horror of this statement). I have previously stated my affinity for the Queen's English, yet I spelled 'apologize' as 'apologize' as opposed to 'apologise'] for the currently less-than-stellar [as evidenced by that whole spiel [sp?] in brackets] writing.

Searching through old drafts, I found this gem of a post from late January, which I've decided to attempt to expand. The new stuff starts after this brief interlude.

Anyway... You know here's the other thing. People often [and dude, what's up with saying 'ofTen' instead of 'offin'] say "anyways" instead of "anyway." I'm guilty of this offense as well, but when you think about it it makes no sense to pluralize it. 'Way' refers to 'path,' so it's like if you were to say "Oh, Marion, whichever ways you choose you're never going to end up with a stupid name like John." But that makes no sense. Because young Marion chose a WAY, and ditched his name, which, by the way is my awesome fifth grade teacher's name, in favour of the supposedly manlier 'John Wayne' and see how his life turned out! He has an airport in Orange County named after him!

What was I saying?

See kids, this is why you don't drink black coffee during fifth period, let it cool to much, try and add brown sugar, and then allow Splenda packets to be within the reach of certain people who will pour more than a few into said drink. Yech.

P.S. Honestly. Expect a post tomorrow. Actually, a few. Or on Friday.

A quick note

There's going to be a nice long post or two tomorrow if you care. So look! There's also a poll right about there -------------------->

Only a few shall get it.

Watch that arrow be pointing to the Followers box. And then someone clicks on it thinking it's a poll and they just don't get it because I said "only a few shall get it" and they discover a whole new universe. Stargate Universe [is weird].

I digress.

I Have Way Too Much Time on My Hands

So I noticed everybody had these "Reactions" below their posts. I have FIVE. But you have to scroll down or something.

They should make a horror movie called "The Vapours" set in a 13th century English Village, where a undetermined creature named Chanticleer is stalked by a corn kernel. He actually heeds his wife, the saucy with a sharp nose [Dashboard Dictionary ftw for precise definitions] Pert-a-Lot [yes, I know what 'pert' means without looking it up]'s warnings, but unbeknownst to him, she is carrying on an affair with a foxy fox, who sires her son...the corn kernel!

See title of this post.

Summer

Original date: 7/15/09 1955 hours

So this was an old draft I found, that was supposedly going to be very good, but I do not know what happened. So I'm using this to ease back into blogging. Not that it matters, since I have about four followers. But there is something powerful [?] about putting something out there. But it's also pretty creepy when you get an @reply from some stranger on Twitter [again, pretty stupid]: @modernoddity nice writings.... *BLOG* . Which just reminded me to block the person in question. I have no clue why I linked the account. ugh.

I was going to be all schmancy and write what I titled this in French, but that reminded me of "La Cigale et La Fourmi"- Jean de la Fontaine. We said it so many times that it's firmly and permanently imprinted on my brain. It rolls of the tongue so easily. It's so cruel. I bet you somebody sees it as some metaphor for some dastardly cause. Hmm maybe it is. But I digress.

Photography is awesometastic.

Work is aight, interesting. Ooooh I used SLANG.

[Shorry, I'm tiredhyper <---- that looks like a type of tiger]

I've been wanting to buy "No Line on the Horizon" -U2 ever since it came out. In physical form. You can't beat the real thing. So I skipped down to Borders yesterday [hey! I can touch type fast!] after school [in my Eric Clapton/Steve Winwood concert shirt. 'Twas AWESOME. I knew [almost] every word to "Cocaine" and "Layla." "Presence of the Lord" has made my list as an all-time favorite. But again, I digress]. And they didn't have it. Nor did they have any compilation CDs besides ridiculously expensive NOW albums. The only 80s one was incredibly lame. I was inspired to go get a hair metal compilation CD from watching the top 12 [?] "100 Greatest Songs of the 80s" on VH1 Classic. But nooooo Borders has a terrible selection. No AC/DC! I was about to pick up a Def Leppard Greatest Hits CD, since iTunes does not carry anything besides their last CD, but I dropped it in favour of David Sedaris's "When You're Engulfed in Flames" [now in paperback!]