"Happy" Guy Fawkes Day

I like the "Horrible Histories" version the best.

Remember, remember, the fifth of November

Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot

Was Guy Fawkes a devil,

The Stuarts all saints,

Are we glad that they stopped him

Or not?

-The Slimy Stuarts, Terry Deary

My Hair Colour is Decidedly Brown

I shall make a proper post. Sometime.

Guess what? I clicked on the wrong tab for the posts, thus the formatting difficulties. Typical.

On a side note, what do you think of rhyming "senator" and "mangy cur?" And "small fry" and "awry."

Yes, I know.

Smackdown II

If you don't want to be smacked in the face, DON'T

Go to the U2 Concert just because it's a concert at the Rose Bowl. And just because you like the Black Eyed Peas.

I bet you don' even LIKE U2, you just think you're being cool [and after last night, boy do I have a lot to say on people who think they're cool. Tomorrow.].

AND, you're wasting tickets, preventing people who would give their balloon best friend to go from getting tickets.

Not nice. Poseurs. Boo.

Name me 10 U2 songs. Besides "Beautiful Day" and "With or Without You" or even "Get On Your Boots," those of you who watch the Grammys. But I bet you couldn't even recognize those songs until they get to the chorus. Pathetic.

Sorry, I'm really quite bitter right now, and I'm writing really quite terribly.

Additionally, if you would like to keep your cheek un-starry,

Let me format my posts easily, blogspot! I don't want to spend time trying to find the font window for "Courier."

What?

Why won't you let me format this blog post, blogspot?
Why won't anyone read my blog, blogspot?
Why won't anyone comment, blogspot?
Why won't anyone clickety-click, blogspot?
Why won't...oh, nevermind that's none of your business, blogspot.

Genius Recommendations

You have the option of looking at the title of this post in three ways:

a. egotistical pretentions [does that make sense?]

b. a play on iTunes

c. genius refers not to the recommender but to the recommendations themselves!

[it's c.]

However these recommendations do relate to b.

Because they are _______ recommendations!

PODCASTS!

[is it just me or is this post turning out quite lamely?]

The Wonderful World of the iTunes Podcast Directory [I deftly added the 'the' so I wouldn't have to deal with possessive apostrophes. I'm sure you care.]is filled with many pop rocks for your brain as it stimulates your brain to crackle with the electricity of new ideas. Wow.

There are many worthy podcasts, but I cannae listen to them all, so I shall solely discuss those that have caught my eye and I have found worth listening to. Yes, most of them are in the 'Comedy' section. No, I am not limited.

These are in no particular order:

The Onion Radio News

Category/Type:Comedy

Format:A mock radio broadcast.

Formulaic, with description and one soundbyte.

Host[s]: "Doyle Redland" [Pete S. Muller]

Pros:Short, mock-gravitas, etc. Both dry and obvious humour. Hilariously topical. Daily episodes. It's the only audio Onion offering. Area person.

Cons:Sometimes too short and unfunny

Best Time to Listen:When you just want a quick pick-me-up/just before you fall of to sleep

Average Duration::50-1 min.

New episodes every: day

Back Episodes: I believe so

Website: Click here [I've always wanted to do that!]

iTunes Rating:4.5

My Rating:***

Depends on your likes

This American Life

Category/Type:iTunes says "Personal Journals." Basically, stories, anecdotes, and explanations of a theme

Format:An introduction interview, followed by the revealing of the theme and an overview of the show, followed by the "acts," with music in between.

Host[s]:Ira Glass, with multiple correspondents and contributors, like Sarah Vowell, David Sedaris, Mike Birbligia, etc.

Pros:They choose interesting topics and produce them masterfully. It's funny, engaging, and informative. You always learn something. They apparently broadcast an episode in theatres in May [I think May].

Cons:If you're completely not interested in a topic, you're out of luck, because the whole episode is basically centred [type the Queen's English!] around the theme. On the plus side [pros], they manage to still make it relatively enjoyable.

Best Time to Listen:On the bus, on a journey, when you have a nice chunk of time, if you're being forced to go to bed but can't sleep for a bit. No distractions.

Average Duration:about an hour

New episodes every:week, usually Sunday-Mondayish

Back Episodes [iTunes]: No

Website: Click here

iTunes Rating:*****

My Rating:****.69

Definitely worth it.

Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4

Shows:The Now Show, I Guess That's Why They Call It the News [IGTWTCITN], The News Quiz.

They have series [seasons] for each. i.e., each show will be podcasted for a certain duration of time, before it's rotated. So there may be more shows. All info for this podcast should be considered respectively [by show].

Category/Type:I have no idea.

Format:A variety-type show; a "news quiz," where the panel is given a headline and the farther they are from the real story, the more points they get for their team; a, well, news quiz, where they basically have to be funnily brilliant and brilliantly funny to score points for their team.

Host[s]:Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis [the gentleman from "Outnumbered" an awesome show. Ah, the joys of Emirates' Inflight Entertainment System]; Fred MacAulay; Sandy Toksvig.

Pros:Hilarious. Brilliant. British. I could go on and on. And they have cool panel people. Ask me if you want to know more, there's just too much to say.

Cons:You might not understand what they're saying. Accent-wise and content wise. Emphasis on YOU. If you're not an Anglophile, then it's questionable as to whether this is the choice for you.

Best Time to Listen:Anytime [see "This American Life"], but don't multitask with this one. It deserves your undivided attention.

Average Duration: 28 minutes

New Episodes Every:Would you like to venture a wild guess?

Back Episodes [iTunes]:No, but their website may have some.

Website:Click here

iTunes Rating:****.5

My Rating [because it's more important, of course]:*****

The Bugle

Category/Type:Satire

Format:"An Audio Newspaper for a Visual World." Focus on the first part. They have segments akin to sections of a newspaper. It's run by the Times

Host[s]:Andy Zaltzman [the most hilarious random tangents in the world]and John Oliver [The Daily Show!]

Pros:It's all around amazing. It's hilarious [my, aren't we overusing that word today], unintentionally informative, and they have these little fixations of theirs' [how do you punctuate that?], like "Hotties from History" and "The Audio Crossword." They read Buglers' emails which are also quite amusing. It's the best. Every so often the equivalent to "Album artwork" changes on your iPod while you're listening. The "Ask an American" segment. The poor Scottish producer, Tom. Random cricket and rugby stats. All priceless.

Cons:Nothing. Except Anglophilia is recommended.

Best Time to Listen:See "This American Life" and "Friday Night Comedy." Out of all of them though, you need to devote the most attention to this one, because if "you lose [a] moment/you might lose a lot" [really? I always thought it was "you might lose a life"] to quote that song of that evergreen sage Lizzie McGuire. No, of course I haven't seen that movie more than once. Yes, I'm lying. Yes, I have better taste in music. Yes, holding conversations with yourself may seem a tad strange.

Average Duration: 30-38 minutes

New Episodes Every:week

Back Episodes [iTunes]:No. See website for everything, free of charge.

Website: Click here

iTunes Rating:*****

My Rating: ************************∞

If you'd like me to include any more categories/information please let me know. This is going to be a series- not just for podcasts [though there may be more], but in general. Pleeeeease comment anyway! The multiple "e"s signify my begging. Do you dig my "Bugle" rating- astute reader[s?] shall get this.

A quick note

There's going to be a nice long post or two tomorrow if you care. So look! There's also a poll right about there -------------------->

Only a few shall get it.

Watch that arrow be pointing to the Followers box. And then someone clicks on it thinking it's a poll and they just don't get it because I said "only a few shall get it" and they discover a whole new universe. Stargate Universe [is weird].

I digress.

I Have Way Too Much Time on My Hands

So I noticed everybody had these "Reactions" below their posts. I have FIVE. But you have to scroll down or something.

They should make a horror movie called "The Vapours" set in a 13th century English Village, where a undetermined creature named Chanticleer is stalked by a corn kernel. He actually heeds his wife, the saucy with a sharp nose [Dashboard Dictionary ftw for precise definitions] Pert-a-Lot [yes, I know what 'pert' means without looking it up]'s warnings, but unbeknownst to him, she is carrying on an affair with a foxy fox, who sires her son...the corn kernel!

See title of this post.

Smackdown I

First in a series!

If you don't want to be smacked in the face, DON'T...

refer to:

Calcutta as Kolkata

I don't care if Kolkata is Calcutta's "true" name, it was Calcutta for a long time [during the formation of the country!] and frankly, the government of West Bengal has better things to do than change the name of my favourite city.

Bombay as Mumbai

This is just my opinion, feel free to contradict me if you possess an Indian birth certificate [which I don't], though I doubt I'd believe you, but no true Indian refers to Bombay as Mumbai. It's the city's true, pc name, thus you'll see it in international publications, but "Bombay" is probably so ingrained that you don't find most people calling it "Mumbai," unless they're American-born Indian brats who think they know a lot about their culture and have been to India maybe once in their life [the latter condition excludes me :D , I know what you were thinking]or crazy Shiv Sena fanatics. But find me a sane Shiv Sena fanatic. Or find me a sane Shiv Sena member. Once again, I apologize if I'm being extremely ignorant.

More to come.

"i'm Phred With a Moustache!"

My first or second post was dedicated to the programming wonders of Noggin/the N.

It turns out that the show was not "Phred With a 'Ph'" [where does the comma go?! between the quotes? before all of them?], but "The Phred on Your Head" show, which has a slightly too aggressive connotation for a show about a pickle.

I seem to be making a lot of mistakes as to the names of beloved [in my world, only, apparently]TV shows. I mistook the show "Filmore!" [Toon Disney] as "Cornelius X."

The only reason I can think of that made me think the show was named the latter was because the main character's name [a juvenile delinquent turned angsty school detective partnered with an emo-ish delinquent "genius" (neither of them ever seem to be in class)] is Cornelius Fillmore, and the name of the school is X Middle School.

They were actually very good shows, especially when compared to today's kiddie trash

I know this blog is virtually dead, but in case there are any lurking zombies, what did you watch, O ye who years for brains?

Summer

Original date: 7/15/09 1955 hours

So this was an old draft I found, that was supposedly going to be very good, but I do not know what happened. So I'm using this to ease back into blogging. Not that it matters, since I have about four followers. But there is something powerful [?] about putting something out there. But it's also pretty creepy when you get an @reply from some stranger on Twitter [again, pretty stupid]: @modernoddity nice writings.... *BLOG* . Which just reminded me to block the person in question. I have no clue why I linked the account. ugh.

I was going to be all schmancy and write what I titled this in French, but that reminded me of "La Cigale et La Fourmi"- Jean de la Fontaine. We said it so many times that it's firmly and permanently imprinted on my brain. It rolls of the tongue so easily. It's so cruel. I bet you somebody sees it as some metaphor for some dastardly cause. Hmm maybe it is. But I digress.

Photography is awesometastic.

Work is aight, interesting. Ooooh I used SLANG.

[Shorry, I'm tiredhyper <---- that looks like a type of tiger]

I've been wanting to buy "No Line on the Horizon" -U2 ever since it came out. In physical form. You can't beat the real thing. So I skipped down to Borders yesterday [hey! I can touch type fast!] after school [in my Eric Clapton/Steve Winwood concert shirt. 'Twas AWESOME. I knew [almost] every word to "Cocaine" and "Layla." "Presence of the Lord" has made my list as an all-time favorite. But again, I digress]. And they didn't have it. Nor did they have any compilation CDs besides ridiculously expensive NOW albums. The only 80s one was incredibly lame. I was inspired to go get a hair metal compilation CD from watching the top 12 [?] "100 Greatest Songs of the 80s" on VH1 Classic. But nooooo Borders has a terrible selection. No AC/DC! I was about to pick up a Def Leppard Greatest Hits CD, since iTunes does not carry anything besides their last CD, but I dropped it in favour of David Sedaris's "When You're Engulfed in Flames" [now in paperback!]

RIP

This is a really quick post...

R.I.P. Walter Cronkite.

This is really, really sad. There was just something kindly about him, something almost grandfatherly. This is like when Peter Jennings died, albeit Walter Cronkite was much older.

Ugh, everyone's dying this year and I'm NOT just talking about famous people, so please don't jump down my throat.

"And that's the way it is."

One Must Embrace the Whoppy

This is pathetic.

The last time I blogged was when I stapled my finger.

Ah, but it doesn't really matter because I'm not one of those people who can say "AHHH SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE"

Because nothing really happens.

I am going to make another post right now.

Fun Times

This is utterly and completely unimportant, but...

TODAY I STAPLED MY FINGER

wow.

That is quite sad.

But the funny part is=my other thumb bled and is currently throbbing.

And to add insult to injury, the staple was pink.

And my friends were too busy taking pictures of my thumb (as you can see)

Shall follow with a more meaningful post sometime soon.

I just blogged...I blogged so far awaaaaay

Okay, so.

New Year's Resolution: blog blog blog

It's an output for stuff

Okay, so:

ASB elections are coming up and all these children are knocking on our doors for a donation to save the children.

'all these children'=candidates

'donation'=vote

'save the children'=the student body...or at least our grade

'knocking on our doors'=*begging-sorry-what?*creating a bunch of facebook events and groups.

I'm jealous. 

I used to be in student council and I absolutely lovelovelove it, but there's no way I can do it in h.s., especially w/ a full schedule, plus the fact that I don't know that many people. 

Ah, well, whatever.

That wasn't the point of this post.

I believe, w/o knowing some of them personally, some candidates are banking on the election being a popularity contest. Which it should not be. 

Others, like one of my friends, are pretty deserving, but their likelihood of winning is slim, partly because of a botched attempt at school spirit at a spirit assembly [sorry, rser, if you're reading this. i'm still voting for you :D ].

Others, like another friend, have good and inspired ideas, but are EXTREMELY lazy *ahem ahem*

And still yet others, who all or almost all seem competent enough.

But I have a pretty good idea who I'm voting for.

yay.

Happy New Year, Christmas, Hannukah, Eid, Festivus, whatever.

Read Time, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, and Reader's Digest

:D

I just had to get that put there